Nine reasons for NOT going abroad – and how to handle them!

There are many good reasons for going abroad. However, there are also a couple of unpleasant side effects of mobility that nobody dares to talk about.

Is it really necessary to work abroad as a scientist?

Young scientists often get the advice that they *must* work abroad for several years to pursue a career in science. There are indeed good arguments for working abroad.

However, the following unpleasant side-effects of mobility must be carefully considered when planning to work abroad.

1. You will have to build a new life from scratch

Every time you go to another country, you have to start from scratch to build your life – this is a fact that is best to simply accept! You have to leave your comfort zone.

You must learn all the tips and tricks to make life easier and save money. 

You will also have to learn where to find information and help. The health system will be different. The police will have a different attitude towards you (and as a foreigner, you must be extra careful!).

You will have to learn where the bakery and the supermarket are and where you can buy this little brownish thing you cannot find in your dictionary, which is necessary to switch on the heater. 

The best strategy is to find other foreigners – ideally from your home country and culture – who can help you to survive the first six weeks.

2. Administration works completely different in different country

Intuitively, most people know more or less how to behave in an administrative context because they have been trained their whole life to handle administration. Unfortunately, many of the rules you have learned do not apply in a different bureaucratic system. 

Navigating the visa process and obtaining a work permit are among the hardest parts of an overseas move. The administrative language and procedures in a new location can feel overwhelming. Relocation experts often suggest joining an online forum for expat life to get real-time advice and support.

In addition, administrative language is typically created to be read by algorithms. Thus, your dictionary will not help you.

You should NEVER try alone to figure out how the administration of a foreign country works. You are naturally programmed to fail. In my experience, the best way is to find people in the administration of your new institution, and let them help you!

Quite often, the secretaries of your institution are wizards in handling administration. They know whom to contact and understand bureaucratic procedures better than anybody else – in particular when you are doing administrative processes the first time. 

Buying a lot of chocolate may help to win their hearts.

3. You lose contact with your family, your friends, and your network

Most people who live abroad for an extended period do experience a decline in their network of friends – even with sufficient social media activities. This might be a reason to think, “I don’t want to go abroad.”

Some people consider being at a safe distance from their parents a plus, others are unhappy when the contact is reduced.

If you are not in a lovely tourist spot such as Berlin, Amsterdam, Paris, London, New York etc., you must have very close friendships to attract visitors.

You must turn into an extrovert and make spontaneous contact with everybody. Learn to connect immediately with anyone and be always nice (even when you feel depressed and lonesome; “fake it until you make it”).

The time difference between different places can make staying in touch with family members and friends challenging. Nevertheless, prioritizing spending time on meaningful interactions is critical for your well-being. It will take some time to make new, meaningful relationships in your new community to provide a social safety net.

Learning about local customs and traditions helps you integrate and make the most of your international experiences. You will soon find yourself becoming immersed in the local culture and cheering on the local team as if it were your own…” if you can’t beat them, join them!” 

Make a schedule to stay in contact with your friends and your old social networks – and send your parents a postcard on a regular basis.

4. Your relationship will suffer inevitably 

Going abroad as a couple

Moving to a foreign country as a couple is stressful for a relationship. The two partners may experience substantial differences in the quality of their work, their supervision, their colleagues and the working environment, and the ease of integration.

In addition, it may be rather challenging to meet new people as a couple because it is psychologically more difficult to start a conversation with a couple. It is also evident that you are not available as a potential erotic partner.

Find other couples (probably foreigners) who are in the same situation. If possible, take your partner to your institution’s social events (barbecuing, Christmas parties, etc.). 

A great way get to know new freinds is to find or create an “international club” to meet other people in the same situation and organize fun activities to enjoy the beautiful aspects of the country.

Long-distance relationships

A long-distance relationship can become stressful because you can only communicate via email, phone or online, which is much less intimate than being together in the same room. 

In addition, you may feel lonely and get in contact with other attractive persons, which may appear as an exciting alternative to your existing relationship. Actively cultivate your love live and let your partner feel that he/she still participates somehow in your life.

Make a plan for the next 4-6 months to meet regularly and take beautiful trips together. Alternatively, find a new love.

5. Your children will lose their friends on two occasions

When going abroad with children, they must leave their friends behind and integrate into a new environment. Children adapt quickly to new environments and usually have no problems finding new friends. However, when going abroad for just a few years, they will have to experience this twice.

When children relocate, they must adapt to different countries, which can be both a new adventure and a source of cultural shock. Encourage them to participate in local activities to develop new language skills and build a new circle of friends. This can transform the worst parts of moving into valuable life skills that benefit them long-term.

The advantage is that your children get used to integrating into new social contexts quickly. The disadvantage is that they may develop the feeling of having no roots. 

Let your children participate in activities aimed at getting in contact with other children and connect with other parents to try to organize such events yourself.

6. Your research stay abroad may not contribute to your pension

For those considering an international move, understanding how it impacts your pension is an important factor. There is a lot of conflicting information about international pensions, and consulting relocation experts or financial advisors can disappoint you because they are often not qualified for specific questions in an international context.

I tried to get reliable information on whether my different stays abroad contributed to my pension. After several years, I conclude that there are many interesting initiatives to standardize the international and European system, but there is much conflicting information. 

I still have no idea how to handle this problem.

7. It will cost you a lot of money

There are important reasons why do people go abroad. Earning more money is normally not on the list. The cost of living in a new location can be much higher than expected. You may have to spend a lot of time and money traveling and communicating over long distances. You may have to find a new home and rent an expensive apartment. You will spend too much on living costs because you do not know the tips and tricks that save you money.

While an overseas move might seem like a bad idea financially at first, it can lead to great job opportunities and career opportunities that improve your financial situation in the long run. Thus, you will get access to better jobs later and probably negotiate a better salary.

You might interpret this as an investment in a higher market value and better quality of life – in the future. Also, in this context, finding other foreigners willing to be your mentor and organizing an “international club” to help spread this kind of information is beneficial.

8. Your self-expression is limited in a foreign language

Most people I know suffer from thinking and expressing themselves in a foreign language. You will never know all the necessary words and sophisticated expressions you have ready spontaneously in your language. There is always a language barrier.

At the same time, you lose skills in your language because you force yourself into using different grammar, sounds, and expressions.

Struggling with a new language skill can limit your self-expression and make it difficult to show your true self. However, this challenge is an opportunity to enhance your language skills and become a different person with a broader cultural perspective.

Some people claim that their faces change when they switch to another language, and speaking too much French or German may lead to muscle pain in unknown mimic muscles.

Learn to switch to the face that supports the local language and reserve some time regularly to get again into contact with your roots and your own language to avoid feeling lost between two cultures – and to avoid being laughed at by your friends, e.g., when you return home from the United States with a “Yankee accent” or from France with a French accent.

9. You will have to integrate into a foreign country, but you will stay a foreigner anyway

You have to live in a new culture that is not your own, and you will miss your roots – this is inevitable. At least in the beginning you will experience a culture shock. People will always treat you as a foreigner because you look different, you behave strangely, and you have a funny accent. 

You may experience hidden or open racism, and you will meet extreme nationalists, even in an academic setting. This might be one of the reasons not to travel, work abroad, or why you should not leave your country.

However, if you choose your location well, the advantages of working abroad and making exciting experiences will outweigh the disadvantages. Understanding and adapting to foreign cultures is essential when living abroad. Spending time with locals and other expats can make the stay in your new home much smoother.

Quite often, it is easier to meet other foreigners than natives. However, you can sell this in your resume as broadening your network and learning intercultural skills. Even the body language you use naturally may be a disadvantage. For example, the personal distance between persons differs substantially in different cultures.

In Germany, the personal distance has to be the length of your arm; thus, you are just able to hit somebody, while Italians find this unpleasant and impolite and tend to come much closer to a person they talk to. Germans may interpret this as an aggressive invasion of their personal space or as sexual contact.

Talk to other foreigners about the unspoken laws and traditions of the new country, and simply enjoy a conversation about these cultural differences over a cup of coffee. You can even use this as an advantage and sell your stupid mistakes and even your psychosis as a charming cultural difference (“You know how Americans/Russians/Germans/Italians are…”).

If you need to improve your communication skills, please read my article on the best books on communication that includes two books on cross-cultural communication.

Do you have plans to go abroad? If yes, where and why?

There are many different motivations why people go abroad. There good arguments for working abroad for a while. If you have plans to go to a new place you must analyze your motivations carefully.

The reasons to travel abroad must be well-reflected. Why do you do it? A simple “Hooray, i am going to go abroad, it’s an adventure!” is not enough. If somebody told you that it looks good on your resume, that’s also not enough. Be specific. I give a number of arguments in an article about great reasons to go abroad that also includes reasons not to move abroad.

A career in academia has – like most careers – its dark sides. A study, published in Higher Education, found that the COVID pandemic intensified the frustration of academics with their work, particularly regarding systemic abuses such as bullying, discrimination, lack of support and long hours that are somehow considered normal. These problems will probably even more intense when you go abroad. Thus, be smart and prepare yourself well.

Acknowledgments

I have used AI systems, including Grammarly, Google Gemini, and ChatGPT, to enhance the English and comprehensiveness of this article. This post may contain affiliate links, meaning I get a small commission if you decide to purchase through my link. Thus, you support smartsciencecareer at no cost to you!

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